if you lose me...

4th of July...wow

2004-07-04T15:09:53Z

All I have to say is...
I Love my 4th of July. I absolutely LOVE my little darling. I miss him already.

July 3rd (4pm-9:30pm)
(10:15pm-July 4th 7:30 am)
(^a little reminder to myself^)

Gosh, I Love this movie.
I knew from the moment I saw the preview for it that I was going to Love it...

ARRGGHHH

2004-07-02T04:11:25Z

Eff all you LiveJournal users. I hate you all. I hate LiveJournal. With that said, this is my final good-bye. I couldn't bare the humiliation any longer.

(No I dont really hate you guys. I just wanted to say mean, angry words because I am mad...I'm sorry for saying that. Good Bye now)

Surveys are swell

2004-06-28T08:36:28Z

--Stolen from Cal--

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | mean/evil ghosts
02 | death
03 | Samara
----------------------------------------------------
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Lance
02 | Glen
03 | myself
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I LOVE: other then family and friends
01 | Music
02 | History
03 | Movies
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | liars
02 | liver (ugh please mom dont make me eat it!!)
03 | Being away from Him
------------------- ---------------------------------
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | geometry
02 | blonde jokes (lol jk)
03 | the Wild Boys (though they are effin HILARIOUS)
----------------------------------------------------

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | cell phone
02 | model of a motorcycle
03 | a clock
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | this survey
02 | watching "Third Rock from the Sun"
03 | Looking for shows to go to
----------------------------------------------------

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Travel the world
02 | Win an Oscar for best actress
03 | buy my mom a house
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | cook
02 | Write expressive stories/poems
03 | Watch Disney movies and sing along with the songs
----------------------------------------------------
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | outgoing
02 | center of attention
03 | smart ass
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | drive
02 | go out without permission
03 | tickle a walrus
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | Copeland
02 | Taking Back Sunday/Dashboard Confessional
03 | Green Day

----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | pshhh
02 | what
03 | shiznit
----------------------------------------------------
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | Fries
02 | Tocino
03 | Biscotti Biscuits
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | Karate
02 | French
03 | Web designs/HTML codes to make a website
----------------------------------------------------
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | water
02 | Milk
03 | Sprite/7up
----------------------------------------------------
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | Captain Planet
02 | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
03 | Fantastic 4
----------------------------------------------------
THREE SMELLS YOU RECOMMEND:
01 | the laundry detergent scent on His shirt
02 | Johnson's Baby Cologne
03 | Strawberry Chap Stick
----------------------------------------------------
THREE NAMES FOR MY CHILDREN COULD BE:
01 | Charisma James
02 | Christian Elijah
03 | Exaltacion Cristobal
----------------------------------------------------
THREE ACTORS/ACTRESSES YOU WORSHIP:
01 | Drew Barrymore
02 | Jim Carrey
03 | Marilyn Monroe, James Dean
----------------------------------------------------
THREE ARTISTS YOU WORSHIP:
01 | Jesse Lacey
02 | Christopher Ender Carraba
03 | Justin Sane
----------------------------------------------------
THREE CANDY BARS YOU CRAVE:
01 | Crunch (bite size. it seems to taste better)
02 | Snickers (oh man. I had no idea how good they were til I tried it a couple months ago)
03 | Crunchies (an England Chocolate bar. It's AWESOME)
----------------------------------------------------
THREE MOVIES YOU WOULD SUGGEST:
01 | Sound of Music
02 | The Last American Virgin
03 | Drop Dead Fred

I am SO cool

2004-06-19T00:33:23Z

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK]

You are Super-Cool!

Woah! Step back - the future's so bright for you it's blinding me! You are the coolest of the cool. Everyone looks up to you as the benchmark for being coooool. The fonze was your grandfather. Any cooler and you'd freeze! WOO it's chilly in here.

Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Can Anyone Help Me?

2004-06-16T05:26:12Z

Tomorrow's the last day of school...boohoo. I didn't buy a camera...grrr. sucks!

I've been getting kinda depressed/really sad lately. I can't really say why. So I have NO idea why I typed it. Well yea, I'm really confused about something. If I let go, I will be SOOO effin sad that I'll probably die. But if I stay, I'll be too sad to stay. But I'm so scared to say anything...He'll think less of me...=[
Why must I go through this? I've found someone. Can't I just be completely satisfied???? I think that's currently impossible right now. It's a lose/lose situation for me. Maybe I should just say something...
Can anyone help me?

I just want him to know that I Love Him. But those words are played out...

WOW! AN UPDATE!

2004-06-14T22:33:12Z

Oh what a world. I am but a loser without my cell phone. Who would have known it would mean this much to me? I've only had it for a couple of months and now it is out of my reach. How will I keep in touch with my love? gRr at you, oh grounded one, gRrrr at yoU!!

Well anyway, life has been pretty confusing. Who knew that I, Victoria, would fall in love. Who knew I would fall so hard that it hurts just to be away from him for a day, or and hour, or a minute, or each second I'm not with him. Who knew that it would hurt when something went wrong because I'm so attached to him. The weird thing is, I didn't expect this. When I went out looking for love, I only found heartbreak. And just when I thought nothing would work out for me, a marvelous day came and lead me to a wonderful person that would love me.

It's what I've said before. Don't look for love. Let love look for you (and hopefully find you). In my case, it did find me.

Of course it was too good to be true. There were just a couple strings attanched that I have to deal with. But everything is ok now. I'm dealing with them and we're happy.

Wow, it's been awhile eh?
I made a new banner thinger. I've made a lot. This is my most recent one.

School is over in 2 days...boo hoo! Good bye for now, new friends. til next year...

perennialxtears @ 2004-04-04T20:32:00

2004-04-05T03:31:57Z

I'm going back to xanga...

http://www.xanga.com/perennialtears

see you there...=] u can still comment this if you'd like.

Good-bye

2004-03-25T03:07:25Z

Good-bye livejournal, Good-bye
I am leaving livejournal, I am leaving
Wish me luck livejournal, Wish me luck
Good-bye livejournal, Good-bye

...

</3

Confused....

2004-03-23T05:30:51Z

I am in so much confusion. I have no idea what to do. Ladonna, if you are reading this, you know what I am talking about. I hate it. It wasn't supposed to be like this! I'm not supposed to fall for him. He's just supposed to be my friend. Now I'm in a huge dilemma! If I stay, I know I will get hurt and ruin something major, but if I dont stay, then I'll be equally hurt (but earlier) and I'll wonder forever "what if".

I've tried to stop talking to him but I just find myself thinking of him and being SO sad. I know he feels that way too...he told me. Well I dont know about the sad part. grrr. stop...stop thinking of him. you're lame for thinking of him

Anyway, I got my glasses today...FINALLY! I've been waiting forever! They look exactly like my old ones. But a bit pointy-er. I actually dont remember when I lost my old ones. Last October of 2002 I think. It feels a bit weird which is weird cuz I've been wearing glasses since I was in the 1st grade. anywho, dont wanna bore u people with my life story so i'll be going now. goodnight and goodbye.

Can I help you? Please help me...

2004-03-10T22:46:47Z

An evitable, melancholy foreordination has left a dazed expression in my mind. Because of my lack of intelligence, I've commited and now I've received a red badge of honor on my heart. It came with a package of sorrow and perennial tears. How do I amend my wounds?

WHY??!!!

2004-03-09T00:56:04Z

OMG! I had yet another chance to talk to him. But I didn't. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???? I saw him 4 times now. The first time was last Sunday, February 29th. That time I actually DID talk to him but that's cuz he was the only one at the cash register and I didn't really notice him. Then, when he was searching on the computer I stared, of course, cuz I was waiting for tickets and I'm like "oh man there's a hot guy in front of me." Here's how the lame "talk" went:

Me: uhm hi. can I buy a ticket?
Him: yea sure. ::walks over to computer:: ok what band?
Me: Rooney
Him: ok. Rooney...That's R-O-O-N-E-Y right?
Me: yup...
Him: hmm. What venue?
Me: uh uh The Troubadour (I stuttered cuz he was so hot lol)
Him: ...hmmm. uhm ::calls him boss over::

That was the end of it. THEN I saw him last Friday, March 5th. That time, I really wanted to talk to him but I was honestly so scared. Me and Penny walked around the store and then she embarrassed me lol. I talk about that in my last entry. If you didn't read it...this is what happened. He was really close to us (next aisle) and Penny was like "OMG go talk to him already!" and I kept saying no so she said out loud, so that he can hear, "OH MY GOSH! HE'S SOO HOT!" So I hid my face with my hand which was really lame and obvious and said "PENNY! oh my gosh what is your problem??!!" So I tried to hide. I grabbed her arm and ran to the rock section which was on the other side of the store.

THEN I saw him YESTERDAY and oh my goodness...why didn't I talk to him?? I had a perfect chance to talk to him. But yea, me and my guy friends were there now. ANd they knew. So Lance was like "HEY YOU! C'MERE" and I wanted to hide SOO badly. I thought he was gonna say something about me but instead he's like "Where's the Maroon 5 cd?" and I was soo relieved. And when he was barely walking away, Austin said "OO Is that the guy Victoria likes???" out loud!! I was soo embarrassed so I said "UHH who's Victoria?" I mean what are they trying to do? Are they intentionally trying to embarrass me???

Then when I was paying for my friend's CD he was walking by and he almost ran into me cuz I stood back cuz I wanted to see the Cat in the Hat movie. But I had NO idea he was behind me. Luckily he didn't run into me. Unless like he ran into me and I fell into his arms. lol oh my goodness....me and my lame fantasies...haha well yea. I saw him again today. We saw him driving so Glen followed him. I was SOO scared. My heart was racing cuz when he got out of the car I was SO scared he was gonna see me so I blocked my face with this piece of paper. He has a Carolla, or however you spell it. a greenish colored one.

Anywho, that's my lame story about me and boys.

My days...

2004-03-06T23:48:58Z

Well I actually feel like writing about how my day went. It starts off the other day. I was gonna see STD on Thursday but I didn't cuz I was broke. Then I was like "Hopefully, a magical lephrechaun will pop out of no where and give me money to buy a ticket for Friday." But no leprechaun showed up. So instead I planned to go to No Future Cafe to see Cadence which was only $4 plus free hot cocoa or mocha. Anywho, Friday came. Penny and I went to Warehouse to talk to that guy that I thought was hot. But I was too shy and too scared so I let the oppertunity pass. and cuz Penny yelled out "He's so hot" which really embarrassed me and I made it so obvious cuz I went "PENNY! OH MY GOSH! what is your problem!" and turned my head away and tried to hide. So I grabbed her arm and took her to the "Rock" section to hide from him. He left so we went to McDonals. Then Penny, me and Patti were all gonna go see Cadence. right when we got ready, Patti called and said she couldn't take us cuz she got in trouble (Her progress report came and she had a D). So that sucked. So me and Penny "kicked" it at my house and played with my guitar and bonded. lol. Then Addison calls me up and asks if I was busy. I said no so Addison, Glen, Austin, Lance, Bryan, Christian, Penny, and I all went to the movies. Me, Penny, and Christian saw "The Passion of the Christ" which was sooo unbelievably sad. I cried throughout the WHOLE movie. It made me so sorry for every sin I have ever commited. I feel really bad cuz I've drifted away from God in the past few months. All summer til December, I was really active in church and had nothing but God in my life. Then school finals came up and more school work, that I was so busy to even go to church.

Anyway, we went to "Tapioca Express" after the movie then Bryan's house. Took home Penny and got home at like...i forgot. like at 12 or something. Today, woke up at 1 PM. skipped an orientation to volunteer at a hospital (cuz i woke up late) and my mom ditched me to go somewhere...she was suppoed to take me to missy's house. Sophomore Student Council work day....Sadie Hawkins. I wanna go but I wouldn't have anyone to go with so forget it. I cooked myself steak for lunch which was sooooo YUMMY. No one makes my steak but me. Cuz i make awesome ones...lol anywho, that is all.

Covos w/ my best friends: Binky and Jo (HO, short for Jose)

2004-03-04T08:28:39Z

Tsijf: im listening to Zeppelin
xperennialtearsx: i knew it. i mean i know
xperennialtearsx: i can see u thru the window
xperennialtearsx: i mean---
Tsijf: you damn stalker
Tsijf: your probably in my pockets or something
xperennialtearsx: lol!

get it? cuz i'm small...lol

xperennialtearsx: if you were 18, would u date someone younger than you
xperennialtearsx: like let's say....15 almost 16
Tsijf: i dont know
xperennialtearsx: damn you're no help

get it? cuz I needed help...haha

Tsijf: dont worry, your funny. thatll get them boys
xperennialtearsx: i dunno how to be funny in front of someone i've never really talked to before
xperennialtearsx: aww u think i'm funny?? haha
Tsijf: course i do
xperennialtearsx: YES! haha...yea i never thought you thought i was funny
xperennialtearsx: i thought u just laughed at me cuz i was short
xperennialtearsx: lol i'm kidding but thanks
Tsijf: hahaha no just sometimes cause your shorrt, but not all the time

-----

Tsijf: and stay calm
xperennialtearsx: psh i'm always calm
Tsijf: cause your a fuckin kluts
xperennialtearsx: hahhahaha
xperennialtearsx: i am?
xperennialtearsx: yea...now that i think of it...i am

haha funny cuz he was giving me advice on how to talk to a guy

BMiSsGrUmPyBeAr: hey could something happen if a baby eats 3 birth controll pills?
xperennialtearsx: a baby? omgoodness i have no idea
BMiSsGrUmPyBeAr: well hes 3
xperennialtearsx: lol why did he eat it?
BMiSsGrUmPyBeAr: i dont know i guess because he thought they were candy

lol..funny

Do you want to get to know me?

2004-03-03T23:19:58Z

I got this from Mikey who got it from Alex who got it from someone named Justin...

001) What time are you starting this?: 2:35 PM
003) Date of birth?: August 25, 1988
004) Sex?: female
005) Height?: 4'10
006) Eye color?: brown
008) Location?: Monrovia
009) Where were you born?: Manila, Philippines
010) Have you ever failed a grade?: no
011) If you have, what grade did you fail?: none...
013) Do you have a bf/gf?: HAH! I've been single for about 2 years now...
014) If so, what is their name: imaginary loser boy
015) How long have you been together?: hmmm since now cuz i just imagined him
016) What are you wearing right now?: blue collared shirt with plaid pants
017) Would you have sex before marriage?: abstinence is awesome
018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: lol no
019) Do you smoke?: no
020) Do you drink?: no
021) Are you ghetto?: when I want to be
023) Are you a player?: lol...rightt
024) What are your favorite colors?: purple, white, red, black...depends
025) What is your favorite animal?: I love all animals. I'm Snow White
026) Do you have any birthmarks?: I honestly dont know.
027) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: no
028) Who are your best friends?: Nikki, Vanessa, Bianca, Jose
029) Have you ever beat someone up?: maybe...yes
030) Who do you talk to most on the phone?: I never get calls...
031) Have you ever been slapped?: by my mother, yes
032) Do you get online a lot?: yes, I have no life
033) Are you shy or outgoing?: shy only to guys I really like.
034) Do you shower?: of course!
035) Do you hate school?: yes...
036) Do you have a social life?: muahahaha! riiiighhhttt
037) How easily do you trust people?: i dont trust people
038) Have you ever lied to your bestfriends?: yes. it was sad
039) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: probably
040) Would you ever sky dive?: if i knew the parachute would open for sure
041) Do you like to dance?: sometimes when i'm playing around
068) Have you ever been out of state?: yup
069) Do you like to travel?: hmm sometimes. i dont like planes tho
070) Have you ever been expelled from school?: nearly
071) Have you ever been suspended from school?: nearly
071) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: I moved over 13 times, sure why not
072) Are you spoiled?: no
073) Are you a brat?: no, my mom raised me to be thankful for what I have
074) Have you ever been dumped?: no
075) Have you ever gotten high?: no
076) What's your favorite drink?: milk
077) Do you like Snapple?: sometimes.
078) Do you drink a lot of water?: yes
079) What toothpaste do you use?: Colgate
080) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: cell phone
081) Do you have a curfew?: with the police...the city curfew
082) Who do you look up to?: my mother
083) Are you a role model?: I hope so
084) Have you ever been to Six Flags?: yes
085) What name brand do you wear the most?: i dont have name brand clothes except for some of my pants. but they're all different
086) What kind of jewelry do you wear?: bracelets
087) What do you have pierced?: soon, my lip
088) What do you want pierced?: my lip and more on my ears
089) Do you like taking pictures?: sometimes when i dont feel crappy
090) Do you like getting your picture taken?: i just answered that
091) Do you have a tan?: lol not a "fashionable" one that people get to look good.
092) Do you get annoyed easily?: yes...many people i know are annoying
093) Have you ever started a rumor?: lol yes
094) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: my cell phone
095) Do you have your own pool?: i wish. i would go in right now.
096) Do you have any siblings?: 1 older sister and 1 younger brother
097) Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Boxers
098) Have you ever been played?: yes
099) Have you ever played anyone?: no
100) Do you get along with your parents?: half the time
102) How do you vent your anger?: i write in my real journal or i throw stuff across the room
103) Have you ever run away?: i was close to running away. i was too scared
104) Have you ever been fired from a job?: lol no
105) Do you even have a job?: my mom wont let me
106) Do you daydream a lot?: all the time
107) ?
108) Do you run your mouth?: when i'm hyper
109) What do you want a tattoo of?: angel wings on my back, my virgo sign on my ankle (a goddess-looking girl with the word "virgo" written under her), a heart that says mom right where my real heart is (in white ink so u can barely see it), a star on my shoulder
110) What do you have a tattoo of?: stick on tatoos...lol
111) What are your favorite flowers?: purple orchids
112) What does your ex bf/gf look like?: i dont recall...
113) What does your most recent crush look like?: hot. long hair that flares out and a lip piercing. he has nice arms too
114) Have you ever been bitched out?: by my sister
115) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: today after school
116) Are you rude?: sometimes when i need to be
117) What was the last compliment you received?: "i like your hair, victoria. leave it like that"
118) Do you like getting dirty?: yuck.
119) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: Innie.
120) Are you flexible?: i guess so
121) What is your heritage?: Filipino Spaniard
122) What is your lucky number?: i forgot
123) What does your hair look like right now?: black hair that curves in. messy but cool looking
124) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: haha no! I'm Filipino! We eat meat everyday!
125) When was your last real heartbreak?: last November
126) Describe your looks?: .blackhair.small. that's pretty much it
127) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: pink or purple
128) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: if he was mature
129) Would you ever date someone older than you?: yes. i prefer guys that are older than me actually (maybe 2-4 years) though i would date guys my age
130) When was the last time you were drunk?: i've never been drunk
131) When was the last time you went on a date?: i dunno. dont go on much dates. i'm a loser like that
132) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: none
133) Have you ever given?: no thanks
134) Have you ever received?: no
135) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: riiiight....is eating too much an eating disorder?
136) Do you have one now?: no
137) How many rings until you answer the phone?: til i get to the phone
138) Have you ever been skinny-dipping?: when i was younger, i went swimming with just my panties lol
139) If yes, when was the last time?: never
140) Do you look more like your mother or father?: my dad when i was younger, now my mom. actually i dunno.
141) Do you cry a lot?: maybe
142) Do you ever cry to get your way?: hell, no
143) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: that's scary
144) What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: i'm never on the phone
145) Are you the romantic type?: i dunno. i haven't had anyone to be romantic with
146) Have you ever been chased by cops?: not chased...well...i dunno. he kinda just caught up to me and my friend.
147) What do you like most about your body?: nothing actually
148) What do you like least about your body?: feet
150) When was the last time you threw up?: i dunno
151) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: both. brunettes most of the time. although i did love blondes when i was younger
152) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: black vans with cream-ish lining
153) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: not to show my belly. i just wear whatever i have
154) What about cleavage?: me? a cleavage? hahhahahahha
155) Is your best friend a virgin?: which one?
156) Have you ever fucked someone up?: beat someone up? yes
157) Have you ever been fucked up?: no
158) What color is your underwear right now?: lol i had to look for that one. they're white
159) What theme does your room have?: none. but my bedsheets are army bedsheets
160) What size shoe do you wear?: size 2 in kids
167) What do you sleep in?: clothes
168) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: i think so.
169) What is one of your bad qualities?: i tend to curse at times. cursing looks sick on people. especially girls. imagine seeing a beautiful person but all u hear is "f*** this" and "f*** that"
170) What is one of your good qualities?: i make people laugh. i'm a nice person and make people feel wanted
171) Would you marry for money?: no that's sad. i'm the kind of person who wants to be married to their soulmate. if i marry for money, then my soulmate would be somewhere out in the world wandering around and looking for me....
172) What do you drive?: i like to drive cars mostly...
173) Have you ever given or received roadhead?: no. that's not my thing. i'm prude but i will make perverted jokes to get a good laugh.
174) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: mom...my real dad left but i was supposedly a daddy's girl when he was still with us. i dont remember...
175) What does your lj username mean?: never-ending tears
176) What's your favorite lj to read? and why?: i just click on 'friends' and read everyone thats i'm my list
177) When was the last time you cried in school?: recently
178) Do you wear Chucks?: yes

Rooney =[

2004-03-03T06:26:14Z

I am extemely sad...
We drove all the way to West Hollywood to see Rooney. They weren't selling tickets at Ticketmaster so we went to the box office...
...sold out.

some guy asked me if I wanted his extra ticket. But there was 5 of us and I was turned around to ask my friends and they're like "yea go take it. we'll come back for you later." (cuz my friends are awesome like that) and when i turned back to buy it, some guy went up to him and was like "ooo you're selling your ticket? how much?!" and he said "free, you can have it." RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! what an asshole.

change of plans...

2004-02-29T23:39:56Z

change of plans.Forget some of the things I wrote in my last entry. I'm gonna be a disc jockey for a radio station. A couple months ago, I saw "Private Parts," the story of Howard Stern and I thought of how awesome it would be to be on the radio. So I told my mom and she was supportive. My uncle was a disc jockey back in the Philippines. That's how he met his wife. She was a fan of his. Cool huh? lol. But yea, hopefully I become a DJ/photographer/some kind of musician/actress.

Anyway, other than that, interesting stuff coming up this week. I'm gonna see Rooney on Tuesday which I'm really excited about. Casey's baby-shower is coming up this weekend. She has to get out of school in a few weeks cuz her baby's due in April. WHOO I'm gonna be a fake auntie. lol. Well, yea I think that's pretty much it.

P.S. my friend sent me a picture of myself and a couple of my friends...enjoy?
I'm on the far right... shitty? yes i know...thanks =D

I have plans cuz I'm cool like that

2004-02-27T03:42:46Z

(Update) My mom is so incredibly awesome. She's gonna get me a new guitar and buy me guitar strings for my acoustic cuz I made the Honor roll....WHOOO!!! It's times like these when I wish I was such a nerd.

I've made a final decision to take photography next year. I've always loved it but I've been taking drama so I haven't any space for any other class. This year, I had to take a zero period so I can finish my last year in PE AND have drama. That's 7 classes. Hopefully, my mom finds my grandfather's old camera. My grandpa was a photographer. He had his own studio but he sold it before I was born cuz no one in the family was able to take up the responsibility of running it. He also had 2 theaters which were both, unfortunately, burned down. So here's my plan...
When I pursue my acting career, I'm going to try to find pictures of the theaters then buy the land where they used to stand and rebuild the theaters. Then hang up the pictures in the theaters so it can look cool =] Then, I'm gonna try to buy my grandfather's studio back. When my mom told me that our family once possessed all these, I was SO happy but when she told me that we didn't have them anymore, I got really sad.
There's so many things I want to do in my life that I wanna drop out of school. I honestly do not want to work in an office or some kind of work where you work FOR someone. You go to school to sit the whole time for a third of your life to get trained to do exactly the same thing. I wanna live my life and travel and everything. I'm meant for fame. Well sorta lol. Every person in my family (mom's side) is some kind of musician. Especially my uncle who was a composer back in the Philippines. And show business is in my blood from my grandpa. It's as if everything I've planned out for myself IS my destiny. My mom used to hate the fact that I wanted to do something that had nothing to do with my education. She would always say "You're just like your grandfather..." Typical Filipino moms ALWAYS want their kids to go to college and graduate and be successful THAT way. But that's boring and so very...typical. Now that I think of it, my life is pretty interesting. Not as boring as I thought it was before I wrote this entry. Dont be surprised if you catch my name somewhere in a couple years. haha. Dont worry. I wont be like jLo and get a limo to drive me just a block up the street. I have plans...too long to write tho. Until then, see you at the movies =]

i'm a stalker

2004-02-26T05:50:41Z

ash wednesday. i'm supposedly not allowed to eat meat but i ate some corned-beef cuz i was so hungry!

i'm a stalker...
at least i think i am. there's this guy at school, who i obviously think is really cute (nothing serious. i just want a good look at him every now and then). it's really quite funny actually cuz i think he knows that i follow him around just to get a look at him. i'll try to make excuses to pass by him. Now, i'm trying to find out what classes he has so i can see him during passing period. ugh i hope this doesn't last. first of all, i dont like him. second, it's really quite sad now that i think of it. uhm...yea i think i can stop it. bleh. i know i'll just find myself following him around with either ladonna or jane lol. it's fun sometimes cuz like we catch him looking and we make it soo unbelievebly ovbious! but not on purpose. like today...oh my goodness.
me and my friend were walking to fifth period and we were looking for him cuz his class is near mine somewhere. so we're looking in the direction of his classroom and my friend's talking out loud about him. she was like "oh man...where is he? he's not there" and we're scared that he knows who we're talking about cuz he always catches us following him. so yea, she was saying that and right when i looked up i saw him like 10 feet away to her right. so i was hitting her arm to tell her that he was there so she can be quiet but right when i tapped her , he looked over and saw me looking at him and tapping my friend. so i stop but when i stopped my friend looked over and gasped and quickly turned away. and then we started laughing and ran away which made it even MORE obvious.
Yesterday, i was on my way to drama and i was late. me and ladonna were walking to class and my friend waves at me and someone was walking in front of him. it was...yup...THE GUY. lol. and so i turn away as fast as possible avoiding to be seen. and when he was far enough to not hear anythingi said, i whispered to my friend ladonna that he was really hot. and i turned to see if he was still there and he was and he looked over and i'm like "oh gosh! did he hear me???"

yea anywho, i'm lame. i wrote too much of something stupid and burned your eyes out cuz it was so long. i'll be going now

---victoria---</3

perennialxtears @ 2004-02-25T08:13:00

2004-02-26T04:25:53Z

here's an update on things. i made the honor roll...i'll write more later. i'm too bored right now. nothing is worth writing about. and plus my mom is making eat right now. oh i hear her now.

Boys

2004-02-20T05:19:26Z

goddess101:what does perennial mean in your sn??
xperennialtearsx: it means like...on-going, neverending, forever...
goddess101: never ending tears? how sad...

Boys are such a hassel. So many girls I know are having problems with them...including myself. Sometimes, I really hate them. ALL of them. Then, I'll watch some corny movie like "A Walk to Remember" and hate them even more for not being like that guy in the movie. lol no I'm joking. Actually, it just makes me sad that I dont have anyone like that or just anyone to be with. yea, I've heard that a guy may like me here and there but it's never the guy I like. As a human, I dont want to be the girlfriend of a guy I do not like. It's either that or I'm just so very scared. Most of the time it's cuz I'm scared. People tell me that I should give it a chance cuz "you never know, it may work out. dont be so scared" But that's just it, I'm too scared.

Today, I felt really lonely. I cried over a guy. I dont think we'll ever be together. EVER! He is the one guy I wouldn't hesitate to be with. Yea, I liked him on and off but that's because I dont think of relationships as often as I used to and because of personal reasons that I dont really want to say. But even then, my heart goes back to him. Maybe it's just time to move on and not even think about it anymore...again.

Don't look for love...
...let love look for you.
(and hopefully find you)

--Victoria </3 "As Lovers Go"-Dashboard Confessional She said, "I've gotta be honest, you're wasting your time if You're fishing 'round here." And I said, "You must be mistaken, Cause I'm not fooling...this feeling is real." She said, "You gotta be crazy, what do you take me for...some Kind of easy mark?" You've got wits... You've got looks... You've got passion... But i swear that you've got me all wrong. All wrong. All wrong. But you got me... I'll be true... I'll be useful... I'll be cavalier... I'll be yours my dear. And I'll belong to you... If you'll just let me through. This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating. And this is wonderful as loving goes. This is tailor made. What's the sense in waiting? And I said, "I've gotta be honest, I've been waiting for you all of my life." For so long I thought I was asylum bound, But just seeing you makes me think twice. And being with you here makes me sane. I fear i'll go crazy if you leave my side. You've got wits... You've got looks... You've got passion... But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight? Tonight. Tonight. You've got me... I'll be true... I'll be useful... I'll be cavalier... I'll be yours my dear. And I'll belong to you... If you'll just let me through. This is easy as lovers go, So don't complicate it by hesitating. And this is wonderful as loving goes, This is tailor made. What's the sense in waiting? This is easy as lovers go, So don't complicate it by hesitating. And this is wonderful as loving goes, This is tailor made. Whats the sense in waiting...

Milkshake? Pimp Juice???

2004-02-19T00:09:10Z

Here's the thing...I was listening to the radio with my mother this morning. It was on 102.7 KIIS FM where they play ALL the popular music. So a couple pop songs are playing and I'm sitting there remembering how I was when i was little. I didn't care what the lyrics were. It had a catchy tune. I'd memorize it later on cuz I'd listen to it so many times. Anyway, back in the car, I'm sitting there and listening AND thinking "wow...these words are pretty sexual. Actually, this WHOLE song is sexual!!" I think back to the songs I heard as a kid and they were ALL sexual! Every pop song I've ever heard was about love or 'sex' but in code words like "Yummy yummy, I got love in my tummy." Or "You're love is like whoa" and I had NO idea that "every love that we made" was about sex! I just thought, as a kid, it was about the feeling of love. And people wonder why the generations are getting hornier and hornier...

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like 'it's better than yours.' Damn right, it's better than your's. I can teach you but I'll have to charge"

OMG!!! My 9 year old cuzin kept singing that!! It's horrible!! I mean it's about Vaginal discharge! and that song "Pimp Juice..." What is THAT all about? of course....cum! The world is soo ridiculous and promiscuous. Well that's the way I see it even tho the world's not literally doing it, but the people who LIVE in it. Maybe not all, but many. I mean there are 12/13 year old mothers out there. Where do you think they learn these things? The songs that HELP boost up their horomones... psh...no control. damnation. the world is currupt!

P.S. I burned my bangs off. I was cooking and I bet over to clean up this mess i made and I forgot the fire was still on so the fire just burned my hair. A lot was burned off but it doesn't look like it, fortunately.

Valentine's Day?

2004-02-15T07:20:00Z

2 ways to spend Valentine's Day: With someone or Without someone. Another year has come and it's going so fast. Valentine's Day already? I didn't even have time to find a Valentine! So once again, I am spending my Valentine's Day alone and, yes, quite sad. Times like these make me wish I were beautiful like my sister. We're both new to Monrovia High and she got things like teddy bears and Hallmark cards. She's out on a Valentine date in some nice restaurant as I type this. It makes me feel really lonely and depressed, but what can you do when you're not one of the beautiful people...

Thanks to Tatum, Cairn, Ladonna, and Jennifer for the Barbie, Strawberry Shortcake, and Finding Nemo Valentine Cards. Makes me feel like a kid again.

...Sex Quizes in the 21st Century...

2004-02-13T03:19:26Z

xSyLvErxsUrFeRx: sex quiz lol
xperennialtearsx: haha i took one once
xperennialtearsx: it said i was good lol
xSyLvErxsUrFeRx: HAHAHA! ur a virgin!!
xperennialtearsx: and then i took a position one and it said i like it "missionary style"
xperennialtearsx: yea i know! lol
xperennialtearsx: that's why it's SO weird
xSyLvErxsUrFeRx: HAHAHA!!!
xperennialtearsx: lol i dont need to do anyone to know if i'm good in bed or not cuz in the 21st century...they have quizes for that!
xSyLvErxsUrFeRx: HAHA! lol
xSyLvErxsUrFeRx: oh man thats a good one!

Your Song

2004-02-11T05:23:17Z

My gift is my song
And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody
That this is your song
It maybe quite simple
But now that it's done
Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Well some of the verses well
They got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that
Keep it turned on

So excuse me for forgetting
But these things I do
You see I've forgotten
If they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is well I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

[Allesandro- opera]

And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple
But now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

2244544
</3 (Love Hurts) 928R0981987N931845739O1237N http://www.menardconsulting.com/music/Your%20Song%20-%20Moulin%20Rouge.mp3 Moulin Rouge version^^ http://www.ramsenthaler.com/web/musik/your_song2.mp3

Freeakish...

2004-02-11T03:44:04Z

As I'm talking my words slip to the floor
and they crawl through your legs and slide under the back door
rendering me freakish and dazed.
Well here I am. I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
So I'll go walking in the streets 'til my heels bleed
and I'll sing out my song in case the birds wish to sing along.
And I'll dig a tunnel to the center of the universe.
Well here I am. I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
I'll make my way across the frozen sea, beyond the blank horizon,
where I can forget "you and me" and get a decent night's sleep.
Well here I am. I don't know how to say this.
The only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
Don't shut me out.

---Victoria---